serving_love | (no subject)

I'm glad you came to your senses, then.

Mm. Zoro says it's fine, by the way.

He also said you propositioned him.

...That was why I thought he might be hesitant.

I did, yes. It was before you talked to me, he said no, I backed down, the matter is closed. I never would have assumed I would have a chance with you simply because I thought you were entirely straight, or I would have approached you in a similar fashion long ago. I don't know if that makes things better or worse or alters matters at all, but that is what happened.

Hey, not like I needed an explanation, just thought it was an interesting piece of news. Though, he did say it was because he didn't know you well enough yet. So you may still have a chance with him. I guess.

...Have you thought about this before?

He did give me that impression. But not for a long time, I assume.

Yes. Admittedly, on occasion, in graphic detail.

Probably not, nope. Darn. You disappointed?

Ah... Shit, I don't know when the entirely straight thing changed, just that lately -- well. Fuck, whatever, that's totally hot. Is it shower time yet?

...Not particularly. I'm still interested, mind you, but...well.

That's the spirit. And I don't know if it is, but it needs to be if it isn't already.

Got something else going on to take your mind off it, huh?

I'm thinking it is.

Oh yes, I think I'm thoroughly preoccupied.

Excellent. Shall I meet you there?

Lucky you.

Yessir, be there in five.

Lucky me is right.

See you there.

Hey, dumb question, but - you won't...tell anyone. Right?

That is a dumb question. You know me. I'll be there in two minutes.

...Yeah, you're right. Alright, on my way.

Hey. Got another question.

Did everything just suddenly go to complete shit, or is that just me?

It's not just you.

...You should probably know that I told George, but in my defense, it was A) a complete accident and B) before you asked me not to tell anyone.

...Yeah, figured that one out. Guess it doesn't matter, Usopp had me pegged in like five minutes anyway. Geez. That's just...typical, not like anything on this ship stays quiet for long. And then somehow we were talking about it in like twenty different places, half of which were in Zoro's goddamn journal, so I might've let that slip, too. And now HE'S being weird, and George-san is still upset about the other thing, which Usopp has now picked up on, by the way. So he's wondering what's up, and he's probably upset that she's upset and just - what the fucking hell?!

...Part of me wants to tell everyone to just stop it and try to be happy with what they have and with what everyone else has, because that's what I'm trying to do and it's almost working, so why isn't that good enough for them? And the other part wants to...I don't know. Feel guilty and wish that things were less complicated, I suppose. There isn't anything I can actually do.

I'd go with that first part. Life's always fucking complicated, that's just how it works. I don't think we did anything wrong - this is this and that is that, and the two situations have nothing to do with each other.

I know. And the fact that she's conflating the two makes me angrier than I probably ought to be. She's acting as though I did it just to upset her or make her jealous, and perhaps she is jealous, but she hasn't any right to be. Honestly...how dare she? Really? How dare she try to make me feel bad for this? And now I have to worry about her because she's developing a drinking problem and I'm sorry, but I don't think I deserve any of this.

...I told Usopp. And I'm lying and giving him the impression that she has no feelings for me in return and is doing this out of guilt. This is pathetic.

...Damn. Well I don't blame you for being angry. I can understand how this might a little...weird for her, maybe. But it's not exactly something she should be upset about. If she's going to choose Usopp, then that's the end of it. She can't expect you to...what, be celibate for the rest of your life or something. Although I suppose the timing could've been better. ...She is kind of overdoing the drinking lately, isn't she? Geez, she certainly didn't waste any fucking time last night.

Oh. Shit, you did? Fuck. How did that go?? Look, don't cover for her. I mean, don't tell him either, but - what she feels is her problem and SHE needs to tell Usopp. Don't put that on your plate, too.

The timing was bad, I admit, and it may have looked to her as though I had ulterior motives - which I did not, for the record - but she should know me better than that. She knew that I had feelings for her before and I was still sleeping with other people then...I know it's different because it's you, but it isn't that different. And she doesn't seem to realize that she has a problem, so I probably have to talk to her about it. I'm starting to get tired of this. At the risk of sounding like a sullen child: Why me?

I'm not covering for her; I'm just not telling him certain things. And it went...well, it's still going. He's being bristly yet awkwardly sympathetic. I wish he'd stop.

I didn't think you did, don't worry. And maybe it shouldn't be that different, but it obviously was. Or at least, it was enough to set her off. I guess everything just piled up on her... You don't have to be the one to talk to her about it, you know. Not like Usopp and I didn't notice it was becoming a problem, too.

...He might. Because I think she's filling in the missing pieces for him now.

Maybe it's because she likes you too. I don't know. Anyway, someone definitely needs to talk to her before something...happens.

Wonderful. I knew everyone was talking about me behind my back. Not that I would expect any different at this point.

No, don't be an idiot, it ain't that. Maybe...it's because she has to see me everyday, though. She can ignore whoever else you sleep with. We could just...hold an intervention for her or something.

...Really, Lucci? You're gonna play that card? No one's talking about you, not like that. Usopp and George-san had to talk about this whole thing eventually, and YOU set the ball in motion since you told Usopp first. I just kind of...got tossed into the mix. What the hell, I don't even know why. Usopp told me like half a second after you told him, though. But no one's going behind your back about anything.

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