serving_love | (no subject)

Yeah, no matter how many times I try to explain that to some of the idiots on this crew, they just don't seem to be able to grasp it. I think it's just beyond some people's capability to comprehend.

That sums it up well enough, yes. Luffy had a fucking field day with it last year.

Shame sparring won’t work. I dunno, what does Robin-chan like to do... You could start your own two-person book club. And serve coffee at all the meetings.

Odd. Although it would explain a lot. I once tried to tell Luffy that a vest does not count as outerwear, realized what I was doing, and gave up.

So, basically, what you're telling me is to wear a raincoat?

Ha. I'd be more than happy to discuss literature with her, but I think the last book I read was - oh. ...Never mind.

I made the mistake of letting Luffy borrow one of my shirts once. It came back in shreds. Shreds. It’s not like we even left the ship all day! I still haven’t figured out what the hell happened with that.

That would be a wise move indeed.

...What, hey! None of that now, come on. What was the last book you read?

The truly baffling part of this story is that you allowed Luffy to not only touch, but wear an article of your clothing. The universe probably did it just to punish you.

I would also recommend putting up warning tape.

...Juliette. By the Marquis de Sade.

It was back before I gave up trying to explain the idea of stylish clothing to him, I thought it would help!

I suppose I could just section off the splash zones.

...Don't think I've read that one.

Oh, Sanji.

We should try to get Franky to build some kind of containment structure.

...Don't. It's not for, ah... Just don't.

Well I learned my lesson, in any case. Shitty rubber idiot.

You know, that could actually work. He should put curtains on it so we don't actually have to watch the barbarians go at it.

...What, is it bad?

At least you learned early.

Hmm. Maybe we should attempt to implement this plan.

...Do you know anything about the Marquis de Sade?

Not early enough. I liked that shirt, dammit.

My appetite would appreciate it, that's for sure.

Nope. Should I?

What did it look like?

Agreed.

The full title of the book, translated from French, is "Juliette, or Vice Amply Rewarded", a companion novel to "Justine, or Good Conduct Well-Chastised". The author spent the last thirteen years of his life in jail for writing them. You've heard the word 'sadism'? It comes from his name.

It was red. Long sleeves, button-up.

...And suddenly I understand why you've read it while I've never heard of it.

Well, maybe I'll get you a new one for Christmas.

Right, well, I could talk to her about it, because I've a feeling she would appreciate the work based on the fact that it's an intriguing study of moral decline and says a lot about the author's character within the context of history, but there's no polite way to ask if she's read it. And besides, I would feel like an utter sham even trying to discuss the themes of the thing.

Seriously? Hell, won't say no to that.

You could just...flat-out ask. It's Robin-chan, I've a feeling she wouldn't be too insulted or anything. I wouldn't even be surprised if she HAS read it. But if you'd rather not, there's other books out there.

Christmas shopping isn't exactly my strong point, so it works out for both of us.

I'm not worried about insulting her, per se. It's just...revealing. Anyway. You wouldn't happen to know what she's been reading lately, would you?

I sort of fail at it, too. That's the good thing about being a cook, though - I can usually substitute in a cake or cookies or something and get away with it.

Ah, I gotcha. And no, I don't, but I'd wager it's something historical.

Lucky. The big trouble for me is that I don't want anything for Christmas, and for some reason that annoys people. It's as if they think that I'm hiding something in order to make them work harder, when what I really mean is that it's perfectly fine for them not to get me anything.

More than likely. ...I suppose I could just ask.

Yeah, but they want to get you something regardless, so you just become one of those people who's impossible to shop for. You're everybody's worse Christmas nightmare.

That you could.

I'm everybody's worst nightmare every day of the year. Really, though, what am I supposed to do? Will myself into wanting presents? It's...I don't know. It's embarrassing. I don't like it when people give me things. I never know how to act.

Do you have trouble talking to her too, or is it just me?

You just gotta say "thank you", people don't usually except a whole song-and-dance routine to show your joy. Or lack thereof.

Mm...actually talking to her - sometimes. Like half the time I'm near her I'm pulling my typical shit, so you know.

I do. People always think I'm being sarcastic. It's not that I don't appreciate things, it's just that gratitude doesn't really come naturally to me. Well, emotional expression in general doesn't really come naturally to me, come to think of it.

For those of us who actively attempt not to look like idiots while talking to women, it's not so easy.

Well. When I get you whatever it is I'm gonna get you for Christmas and you say thank you in a voice totally devoid of emotion with a look that suggests I just handed you a dead sea king carcass, I'll know that deep down inside you actually truly loved the present.

Hey, there's nothing actively about it and -- I don't look like an idiot!

I'm not that awkward. ...Are dead sea kings bad?

Yes you do. Does that ridiculous flailing routine ever actually work?

...Yes. They smell.

That is for when I'm admiring a woman! I break out the suave and debonair Mr. Prince~ when I'm aiming for a date or more.

Well, I would be offended if you gave me something rotting, but other than that, it sounds like a good gift to me. You would probably have to kill it, wouldn't you? That's not easy. It's a nice thought.

...Mr. Prince.

...What are you, a caveman? Geez, if I was actually going to give you something like that, I'd at least cook it first!

Yep.

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