serving_love | (no subject)

...Yeah, more like fucking hilarious.

Why tentatively?

Indeed.

Just when I think things are going well, something either goes wrong or...goes confusing.

Oh. Well maybe you'll get lucky this time and that won't happen.

No, it already did.

...Ahh. Do I want to know?

...

On one hand, I'd like to tell you, but on the other hand, you wouldn't understand and might try to make fun of me.

It's not exactly a big deal, anyway.

...

Well since it's apparently not another explosion in the making, now I'm curious.

...I don't think that anything is going to explode. I just don't know how to make George feel better when she's in a bad mood, because she seems resistant to being cheered up or accepting compliments at times, and I'm bad at that in the first place. Sometimes I'm at a loss for what to say when I know I should be helping, and it...it's confusing, that's all. I wish I were better at this.

I also think I offended her by being unable to understand why it was so awkward for her that Usopp was female, and I'm not sure how that was offensive or what I should have said to fix it. She...I'm probably reading it wrong, but she seemed annoyed that I'm not straight and I don't know how to react to that.

And there was something else, but I'm not going to tell you now.

...Yeah, I'm not sure there's anything for you to be better at, I think that's just...George. I mean, you know her better than me, but I don't have a fucking clue how to cheer her up sometimes and I've all but given up on complimenting her because it pretty much blows up in my face anytime I try.

Offended that you're not...straight? Seriously?

.....Then don't mention it at all!

I think I'm getting better at it, at least. It's just that sometimes she gives off very strong indications that she wants to be left alone, and sometimes she does, but sometimes...she doesn't. I don't really understand.

Not offended. ...Annoyed. Maybe. I'm really not sure; she just seemed...not entirely pleased with it. I felt as though I were saying something wrong, and I couldn't figure out what else it might be.

You thought that Usopp made an attractive woman. Right?

That's a girl thing, isn't it? They're complicated. And I guess...undead girls aren't any different. They just have even more complications.

Hm. Maybe it wasn't really anything to do with you and she was just projecting her uncomfortableness with Usopp being a girl?

...Well yeah.

Mm. I wish she would just talk to me if something's wrong. She usually does, but sometimes...

Maybe. I hope. I don't know what I'm supposed to do if she doesn't like something about the way I am. I can't change it, and I wouldn't want to.

He was saying that people didn't realize he'd changed back.

Did you tell her that?

Well. I mean, it's not like she didn't know all that before she got into anything with you. So...it's kind of late now to let it start bothering her. ...Actually, that's not really fair of me to say. Considering. Hmm.

I noticed. I just...didn't comment on it right away.

Once. Perhaps it bears repeating.

...Isn't it?

I suppose he didn't look that different anyway.

Maybe. You never know, it could help!

I dunno. I guess it's not exactly the same but—okay, well. Usopp said something awhile back wondering if the way I acted around girls and all that bothered Zoro. So I asked him, and he pretty much said he wasn't expecting me to change or anything, but no shit he wasn't exactly thrilled that the person he liked was going crazy over other people. So. George knows how you are, and I'm sure she's accepted it and doesn't need you to change, but that doesn't mean she's gonna be happy about it...maybe? Something like that.

He looked different enough.

I suppose I should talk to her.

Ah. I knew she was...not fond of the fact that I'm still attracted to other people, but I didn't think it mattered what kind of person it was.

...I think this is one of those things that would make George upset.

Mmhm.

It was probably just the timing with that part. That you can be so blasé about being with either sex and she...can't. But she was trying to be. Because of Usopp. So maybe she just got frustrated.

...That he looked similar as a girl?

I suppose that makes sense. I said that I can see how it would be jarring, and she pointed out that I probably couldn't, and seemed rather upset with me.

...I think I've just realized - and by just, I mean within the past few hours - that I'm sort of attracted to him. And I cannot for the life of me figure out why, or...why it bothers me that I am.

Again...upset with the situation. But directing it at you. Is my guess.

...To him him?

That does make more sense.

...Well, I wasn't before he was female. And I was while he was female, for obvious reasons. But...yes.

It could be something else entirely, though. Who knows.

...Man, he didn't look that similar. But I thought you found him attractive anyway. You know. With that whole orgy thing.

Stop giving me other options; I'm trying not to overthink it.

He sort of does, though. It occurred to me that the reason he made such an attractive girl was probably that he has a lot of features that are considered pretty on a girl. Anyway, the orgy thing was different. First of all, that wasn't even serious, which meant that I wasn't thinking about it seriously, and second, I don't necessarily have to be physically attracted to someone to want to sleep with them. Or use them pad out numbers for an orgy. And it's not that I want to sleep with him, specifically. Or...I didn't. I don't know. I haven't thought about it much. More importantly, why does this bother me now when I didn't care previously?

Ahah. Right, sorry. It's everything I already said.

......I have no idea. It's not even remotely the same for me, so... I can't relate. And I know that wasn't serious, but still. Figured it said SOMETHING about how you felt. But—look, maybe it's just throwing you off because you're used to viewing him as a friend? That's...what I'd tell a normal person, anyway.

Well, I'm used to viewing you as a friend and there was a point in time when I didn't find you particularly attractive. I suppose that was less abrupt, though.

...And at the time, George probably wouldn't have given me that look for it.

Oh, well, thanks. I dunno...there wasn't as much tied up in doing anything with me. That was all no-strings-attached whatever... Maybe you subconsciously realize you could just be making shit a whole fuckton more complicated by deciding you have feelings for Usopp or something.

...

You don't have feelings for him, do you?

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