serving_love | (no subject)

Right then since we're all sharing first time we had sex stories!

When me and my wife got married we only spend a bit at the party cause you know, food. But then we went off to bedroom and took off all our clothes and started touching each other!

Except when things got interesting and Naiad was really into it (she looked AWESOME when she was into things) a messenger burst in though the door.

Yeah, nooot happy with him but we had to pause so I could deal with the message form superiors. that took about half an hour.

So we're getting over the interuption, getting into the mood and a live shark gets throw though the window.

Ended up my rival for Naiad's hand hadn't stepped away from the wedding he just got lost and was late to challenging for her hand so dealing with him took an hour.

So once again we're going at it in the now rather smashed room when three librarians all burst in though the hole in the wall all yelling for Naiad's attention cause there was a ruckus at the library she worked at. That took another hour and we decided to sneak off to the woods so no more interuptions.

Took a bit to get the twigs cleared away and riiiight when it was the worst moment, the heavens parted and a torrent of rain fell. And it was DAMN cold rain at that.

So we had to run though the woods and find a cave to get out of the rain. At we tried again to have sex, got ll warmed up.

And we both fell sleep at the same time.

So next morning, we wake up to aching bodies and our clothing combined is a bed sheet and a pillow case. So we had to run and sneak back to our room for clothes and Naiad keeps sneezing every so often and then after dressing got called in to get an assignment from the Fleet Admiral. (Which normaly didn't happen at my rank but he was visiting and was bored so he did that stuff.)

Only while we where there, Fleet Admiral got called off to do a thing, so we had a 15 minute quickie on his desk before hurring off to do our jobs.

And THAT is how I had sex the first time.

.......................Wow.

...

Actually that sounds kind of fucking awful.

It wasn't awful it was hilarious! Though the shark bit was worrying cause it might have bitten Naiad which would have been bad.

...

Much as I never wanted or needed to know anything about your sex life, I have to admit that's somewhat astounding.

I've been serving on the Grandline for forty years. Really awesome stories is a side effect of that.

I can see that.

I like to think I've led an interesting life, but I suppose you haven't seen everything until you've seen someone throw a live shark.

Archibald was really found of throwing live animals at people. He threw a live baby sea king once.

At you?

Oddly enough no. We had a moment of having to work together and he threw it at the people attacking us.

I see.

You've led a charmed life, Vice Admiral. And by charmed, I mean insane.

Sanity is over rated anyway.

So you continuously express.

Because it keeps being true!

What I wonder is, have you always been this way, or is it a result of your old age?

I don't remember changing with age. I might have but I don't feel any different.

So you're either senile or consistent. I'm not sure which is worse. You tend to evoke a lot of "lesser of two evils" situations.

Not evil, awesome.

Sometimes I wonder if you actually read my comments.

Of course I do! I was correcting your sentence. I'm not evil I'm awesome so it would the lesser of two awesomes.

It's a figure of speech.

That doesn't make it correct though.

Have it your way.

How is Hattori doing?

My way is the way of heroes!

Oddly enough he meows back at me when I meow at him. it is a chirpy meow but still a meow.

Right.

You taught my bird to meow. ...Are you at least feeding him properly?