serving_love | (no subject)

You're doing it all wrong.

The hell I am!

...Doing what wrong?

Ah... Nami-san~ Darling. Beautiful angel. LOVE OF MY LIFE.

What the fuck's wrong with that?

Only everything. The "Ah..." is tacky, the ~ is in the wrong place. Darling is a word used by grandmothers, beautiful angel is overused. As for "LOVE OF MY LIFE" being in all caps, I've seen horses with more class than that.

...

Because you're such a goddamn expert. What're you, twelve?!

What are you? A butler?

Chef actually, dumbass.

Good. I'm hungry anyway. Make me some fresh tomato bisque with toasted buttered croutons and a vegetable medley on the side.

Sure, okay, and after I make I'll just kick it across the ocean and hope it gets to you. Sound good?

I'll have my servants fly to your ship by helicopter and pick it up.

You have servants and a helicopter, but you don't have someone to make tomato bisque for you?

We're roughing it commoner style and the chefs seem to be missing.

Figures. Shit, a cook's the one thing you NEED on this ocean.

It would have be a pretty talented cook to do all the chores around the ship.

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The helicopter pilot seems to have gone missing too.

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Definitely not host club material.

His eyebrow can join.

It's...charming. I suppose.

What grade do you give his eyebrow, Kaoru?

B-

You're too nice, Kaoru! I was thinking a C+.

How about a B-/C+.

With no chance for extra credit.

Exactly.