serving_love | (no subject)

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uavhflk

Z-Zoro. Trying to smother me in my sleep. And I didn't stay to CHECK or anything, but he might have been NAKED!!

How did I even get back up here?? If this is supposed to be a joke, it isn't funny you guys! And--

Wait.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??!?!?

...I really need a cigarette.

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...oh my GOD. You're a horse now too??!?

I'm a unicorn, specifically.

Sure, fine, whatever.

......how are you even TYPING?

With extreme care. I don't think I would be able to do it if not for the cloven hooves.

So I hear you're stuck in the hold...

I can get out now, but I'm trying to remain here so that I don't inadvertently gore three or possibly four of my nakama.

...aren't unicorns supposed to be all gentle and wise and stuff??

I think I'm an evil unicorn. I want to trample virgins.

...wait a minute.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU AND SANJI DOING??? LEAVE MY BODY OUT OF YOUR EXPERIMENTS!!!

I wouldn't actually hurt it. It's in the name of science.

Sanji said something about almost being gored.

Oh, it wasn't that close.

How close WAS it?

He only came up to the door.

...I thought you said you could get out now. What if your...KILLER UNICORN INSTINCTS made you go after him??

Seriously, what is that even about?

I can, but only in leopard form, and it takes a moment. He would have been long gone. I've decided to stay in here to prevent any incidents.

You tell me. I assume I must be an evil reverse unicorn of some sort.

...I hate to ask, but what about Sniper and Striker? I mean, if I go in there to feed them are you gonna CHARGE me or anything?

.........you WOULD be. Jeez.

I don't know. We should test that, too.

The alternative is, apparently, finding virgins to nuzzle and fall asleep on. I think I prefer it this way.

What?? TEST? Sanji's not even a--it should be FINE, right?!

What's wrong with that? It sounds nice! Have a little nap, get your ears scratched or something... You just GOTTA be difficult.

It should be, but it definitely requires investigation.

Well, yes, but that would be rather embarrassing. I do try to make a habit of not falling asleep on people. That I wouldn't ordinarily, of course.

...well, someone's got to feed them.

Right. Of COURSE.

Kaku can feed them if you cannot.

At least this way I have a decent excuse not to come out and have people try to pet me.

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