serving_love | (no subject)

Current Mood: bored

(no subject)

I think I've been drinking too much lately. It's messing with my head. I'll end up as brain dead as the marimo one of these days if I'm not careful. Ugh.

So it occurred to me that I haven't yet properly introduced myself, and my previous post probably didn't give the best impression. FORGIVE ME, LADIES!! Excuse my awful behavior and allow me the chance to redeem myself in your eyes~

I'm Sanji, age 19, cook of the Straw Hat Pirates! If you're looking to find the man of your dreams, to share a gourmet dinner for two, to get a back massage, in need of rescue, or simply waiting for your white knight in shining armor to sweep you off your feet, I'M YOUR GUY!!!!! Feel free to comment and leave a number I might reach you at~~ ♥

And all you other shitheads suddenly trying to find the one piece might as well give up now. Title of Pirate King's already taken by my idiot captain.

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I'd give you something in return. Do a job or something. Or make Shinpachi or Kagura do it for me.

There's nothing I need done at the moment, though.

When you do call toll free at 1-800-GIN-CHAN. We may be pirates but we're the HELPFUL kind!

That's our new catch phrase as of two minutes ago. Do you like it? Is it catchy enough? Should I stop trying to pass as an advertising agent?

Heh. No one's going to trust your helpful pirates spiel. People hear the word "pirate" and they go running. Mostly.

Unless they've met my crew.

How about... "We only pillage strawberry milk sometimes!" Less scary?

...Yes. Definitely. I'd go with that.

It's got a certain amount of lameness to it but hey. Strawberry milk. Can't go wrong with that.

Strawberry smoothies are better, you know.

I'm a simple man and can only afford to pillage strawberry milk.

But smoothies are easy to make! Strawberry milk isn't even healthy.

...how dare you!! Think of the calcium I'm getting drinking all this strawberry milk. I'm avoiding bone loss and osteoporosis while sipping of creamy strawberry goodness!

You can get calcium from regular milk and skip all the extra sugar!

Skip the extra sugar????

Why would I want to do that.

Because you don't need it!!

Lies. Obviously you don't know my deep spiritual relationship with sugary foods, Sanji-kun.

And obviously YOU don't have a decent cook on your ship.

And I don't want one if he'd deny me my sweets.

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