serving_love | (no subject)

Current Mood: WTF

(no subject)

...

I think I must be dead.

P.S. NAMI-SAAAAAAAAAAAAN, ROBIN-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN, ~~stupid shitty marimo swordsman~~!!!!! IF THIS IS HEAVEN WHY AREN'T YOU HERE?????!?!

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If you would let me play captain for awhile. ♥ I promise to be good. And you may call me Kalifa.

HAAAAIIIII, KALIFA-SA---

...aksdjhf I mean, NO. No. This is MY ship, Franky'd kill me if I let anything happen to it, and as a Strawhat pirate it's MY job to take care of things until I get the others back! Kalifa-san, you don't have to do ANYTHING.

...

You think I wouldn't do a good job?

Ah - no, I'm sure you would do a fantastic job!! Just, um. Well. You see. Hm... NAMI-SAN!! Nami-san wouldn't be very happy with me if I handed control over to someone else!!

You think she'd want to have one man in charge of all us girls? I don't know much about her, but that doesn't seem quite right...

With all due respect, I think she'd want to have ME in charge instead of you.

That might be true...but she isn't here, is she? And I am. ♥

But she'll be back. Kalifa-san, I can't let you be in charge of my ship.

BUT I CAN MAKE YOU SOME TEA!!!

All right, I don't want this to be difficult, so I'll make you a deal.

You let me be captain, and I'll let you touch me. For three seconds. You pick where.

.....nnngh. T-that's very generous of you, Kalifa-san, but ah... I'm. I can't - I WOULDN'T take advantage of a lady like that! Ever!!

Also I have a bet going on that I can go without flirting for a week and I'm QUITE SURE inappropriately touching you would be considered flirting!

It's not taking advantage. Just a friendly offer. And it isn't flirting if I've initiated it, is it? I think it's a fair trade.

...Could I possibly touch you WITHOUT giving up captainship?

No, but I'll make it five seconds if you promise to cooperate. Besides, who's going to cook for us and keep all these pretty girls happy if you're busy being captain? Just let me take care of everything, and if you think I'm doing a bad job, we'll renegotiate.

I'd still cook, of course! Anyway, there wouldn't be much for you to do as captain. And you shouldn't HAVE to do anything! Not when you're on MY ship!! I'll take of things, ladies shouldn't have to work too hard.

Ladies shouldn't have to work too hard, hmm? So you think I can't handle it. That's sexual harassment.

I didn't know you were qualified to run a ship, besides. Why don't you tell me what your first act as captain would be? I'm curious. ♥

Now you're putting words in my mouth, Kalifa-san. Never said you couldn't handle it, just that I don't think you should have to~

Hell if I know. I'm as qualified as any of our crew, though. And I stand by what I said before - it's my crew's ship, so I'm going to captain her. But maybe you can be captain, too! We can have TWO. Or you can be first mate.

Are you sure there's no way I can persuade you to let me be in charge? Nothing you can think of?

Mmmm I can think of several. things, Kalifa-san - but I'm not going to tell you because I'M in charge this time.

All right, in that case, allow me to present a different side of my argument, in the form of a question:

How, exactly, do you plan on stopping me?

Mm, I'll find a way.

I highly doubt that. ♥ I'm afraid you're going to have to be the one who plays nice, Sanji-kun, because I don't do that very well.

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