serving_love | (no subject)

Current Mood: irritated

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Ship's damaged, ain't much of a market here, still shitty dragons everywhere. We've been told they ain't all that dangerous, though. Ha, yeah, tell that to Franky, damn things nearly took down the whole mast and our sails look like shit. But there's a lot of ships in the harbor, so at least we know they've got the means to fix this.

Apparently this island is called Berk. Shitty name. The people here—

...

Are they riding the—? What the hell. ...Back in a bit, gonna go take a closer look.

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...okay. Should I ask WHY, exactly?

No, we didn't really think that far ahead or anything. Anyway...it's pointless if you aren't there. We can do it another time when you're not so busy.

...heh, so are you gonna make the turkey cake?

Because of—everything. Life. I'm frustrated by life.

How is it pointless? You don't need me there.

Yeah, I was planning on it.

...well, that doesn't sound good. Um. A-anything I can..?

Because the point was for us all to hang out again! We can't exactly all four hang out if you're NOT there. We'll just do it later; it's fine.

Awesome.

...No. Shit, sorry, that was fucking melodramatic. It's just—I already knew that Lucci doesn't feel like he can talk to me anymore. And it fucking sucks. But now you said George can't talk to me anymore either and...I really don't know what to do about that, but it also sucks. And I know Lucci did his shitty apology thing but that doesn't mean he and Zoro are ever really gonna get along, and it doesn't change the fact that Zoro doesn't want me telling him certain things, which are the things Lucci doesn't want to hear anyway, so you'd think it wouldn't even matter but apparently it does. Because the fact that there's that stupid restriction there pisses Lucci off and he's basically said it's not even worth it to try anymore, which...is lame. And sucks. But I can't even be mad at either of those two idiots because in the end half the reason they can't get along is my fault, so I just have to...deal with it. And now Lucci's going on about leaving or whatever the hell that is, and it hasn't come up since we had that thread, but it's still worrying.

And then on top of all THAT, I think Zoro's mad at me or something. Because I treated him like a girl when he was a girl.

And all of that shitty stuff just kind of hit me all at once so now I'm in a shitty mood. And I don't know what the point of hanging out together is if it's just gonna be awkward and weird.

...

And I'm out of flour. What the fuck.

...well, he kind of said he felt like that, but I don't think he's HAPPY about it, Sanji. And I know George isn't either. Like...Lucci wants things to be okay with you two again; he told me so. ...and he--if he was talking about leaving, it was probably just...one of those things, right? He couldn't really MEAN it. I can--I'll ask him about it, okay?

You...weren't even THAT bad, were you? With Zoro, I mean. Like, you were actually...a lot better than I expected when I was a girl, too. ...unless I missed something.

The point is, I'm SICK of it being awkward and weird, and so is George, and probably Lucci too, and...I dunno. I just thought if we did something together then we could sort of work on fixing that. It's not like it's anybody's FAULT or anything, just...like I said, I think people thinking about it is making it into a bigger deal than it really is, and I bet if we all hung out then things would actually feel FINE and NOT awkward and people would realize that there isn't really a problem in the first place. Ur. At least...that's how it would work in theory.

...they must have flour here. I'll--I can get you some. I'll do that.

I didn't say they were happy about it, but it doesn't change the fact that apparently they weren't gonna do anything about it. Lucci flat out said he didn't know why he was bothering anymore, and I didn't even know George had a problem with me. And I'm sure it was just "one of those things" but...still. He never should've been thinking it in the first place.

No, fuck, I tried really damn hard to act the same as normal around him, but I guess I did shit I didn't even realize I was doing. Stupid stuff like...I don't know, touching him all the damn time, he said. Standing too close. Hell, I was probably holding doors open for him, too, I don't even know. It's shit I just do. I make a better boyfriend than a...whatever the fuck I am to him now.

Look, it's gonna be weird no matter what, all that other shit is only half of it. You guys have your own thing now and I'm not part of it, so if it's just gonna be the four of us then it's gonna be—different. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, just. It is what it is.

They do, I saw it earlier. Just didn't think to grab any. Don't worry about it, I can get it.

Well. They both told me. Maybe that was...something. I know I can't fix stuff for them, but at least I talked to them about it, and both of them said they WANTED to try and get things better again. And...George doesn't have a PROBLEM with you, that's not it. I--probably I said it wrong. But. That's kind of what I mean. He probably WASN'T really thinking it, but he said it and--you know how he is sometimes. I'm not saying that makes it okay or excuses it or anything. It's still STUPID, and that whole thing's...definitely something he needs to work on.

...his boyfriend? I mean. I know you guys are weird about calling each other stuff like that, but it's what you ARE. Anyway...standing close? Touching him? You do that kind of stuff NORMALLY, you know. Maybe he just...was more conscious of it because he wasn't his normal self or something, and...well. Yeah, you're you, so probably you WERE at least a LITTLE weird, but...it didn't seem that bad to me.

It's not--HOW is it really that different? You're making it sound like you never want to even hang out with us again, and that's-- I don't know why you think it has to be WEIRD. We're all still friends, right?

No, seriously, I got it. I'm halfway there anyway. Just...do whatever else you have to do, and I'll be there in a little bit with your flour.

Well I'm glad they told you they wanted things to get better. Fine, you're right. I'm just...bitching. Ignore it.

That's not—hn. I...know that. But I meant more in the...traditional sense. The boyfriend-girlfriend sense. ...That was a dumb thing to say, though, so. Nevermind. But I think maybe he's right. Thinking back. The dragon riding alone, we haven't gone out on one since he changed into a guy again. I dunno.

I'm not making it sound like that! Or...I'm not trying to. I didn't mean it like that, anyway. I guess we're all still—friends.

...Thanks.

Well. I don’t blame you for being frustrated. And…like I said before, I maybe shouldn’t have even said anything to you, because…probably they were gonna talk to you on their own or something anyway. I just—I don’t know.

So…you think you just treated him sort of different? Well. More like how you treat girls, I guess, right? So…is he mad that you treated him like a girl, or..? I mean, there’s no reason you guys can’t both go ride on Shitty Dragon now, right? If you WANT to.

Well, what else would we be? Things aren't THAT bad. I mean...I know things are gonna be KIND of different, but not so much that we can't all... You and me are always gonna be best friends, right? I mean, I know that. But I still miss hanging out with you guys together, too.

No problem.

You didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. With Lucci, anyway. Who, incidentally, has really fucking weird timing because he’s all of a sudden talking to me now.

It’s...complicated. I mean, that was part of it, how I was acting, but I think there’s more... It’s like—hm. Nevermind, let me just clear this up with him. Before I start worrying over shit that doesn’t need to be worried over. Maybe I will see if he wants to go flying again.

No, things aren’t that bad. I know. Sorry. I’m being an idiot. Just thought it might be—awkward. Or something. But I guess it won’t be. And of course we will.

...what about?

Y-yeah, okay. That makes sense. Just, uh...keep me posted?

I don't think it would be. And...even if it was a little, I think we could just...get over it by hanging out anyway.

This.

Yeah, I will.

...Well obviously it wouldn't be awkward for you.

...oh. Yeah, that's...weird timing all right. I didn't say anything to him about this, if that's what you mean! Um. Is it about this in a good way, or a bad way?

Okay.

Well. If the rest of you were awkward, it would be. A little.

I didn't suggest that you did! ...Anyway, I asked him about that already. And...it's in a good way. I guess.

No, look, it's the whole third wheel thing. Or...in this case, fourth wheel. It's not really a big deal and I said it wasn't bad. It probably wouldn't even be an issue. I just...was thinking about it.

Okay, I just--I wasn't sure, I thought maybe you were--well, whatever. But...see? If he brought it up then...I TOLD you!

...well. I don't really get why you'd even feel like that. When you hung out with me and George before you didn't feel like a third wheel...did you? ...why were you thinking about it, actually?

Whatever, he's still a moron.

Because sometimes shit just pops into my head? I don't know, Usopp. I said it probably wouldn't be an issue

...yeah, I'm not gonna argue that.

Okay, sorry. I just don't really get it, that's all.

And I don’t get what you don’t get! It’s not that complicated. You guys are all three-way couple-y and you hang out amongst yourselves way more than I hang out with any of you lately, and I know that’s the whole point of doing something together, but it doesn’t change the fact that you guys are—closer. Now.

…oh. I guess…yeah. Well. …I think this whole—this thing we’re doing would never work at all if we weren’t. Closer. So we were sorta trying for that, but it’s not—you’re still my number one dude, you know. Sorry if I, um. Neglected you or something.

Oh my god, you haven't neglected me. I've been pretty damn preoccupied, too, you know, on top of the normal busy that comes with keeping all you idiots fed—so for the millionth time, it's not a bad thing! It is what it is. Things were always going to change, they had to for that kind of relationship to work, so. It's good that they did. Since it's keeping everyone happy. It just means that...I don't know. It just makes things different. But it doesn't mean we can't hang out, I'm just...trying to explain where I'm coming from.

...sorry. Now I’M just worrying too much, right? Right.

So…okay. Not worrying about that anymore, honest. Do you want to sometime, then? Or we could do something else!

Nah, you're fine. I sort of made it seem like a bigger deal than it actually is, I think. Not like it's going to be some...incapacitating level of weird, heh.

Yeah, I want to. Maybe when we're at sea again? Give us something to do. We should probably head out soon anyway.

It would have to be pretty bad to be INCAPACITATING.

...yeah, we've actually...been here kind of a long time, haven't we? It definitely shouldn't have taken this long to fix Sunny, and...Tulio and Chel are probably getting really antsy waiting for us to show up. But anyway! I think that's a good plan, Sanji!!

True that.

Oh please, you think we've been here this long because Sunny's not fixed? Franky's been playing around on the dragons as much as everyone else, he probably could've had us ready to go in two days had he not been distracted as all hell.

Not that I'm complaining. But yeah. I'm sure they're getting sick of shitty bananas.

Well, yeah, it DID seem like he was taking a really long time, because…the damage wasn’t THAT bad, you know. In the big scheme of things.

Yup. I think Tulio’s definitely BEYOND sick of them. At least they have plenty of food, though.

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