Sanji (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
serving_love) wrote2009-12-14 05:00 am
serving_love) wrote2009-12-14 05:00 am
Entry tags:
LOG POST: Sanji and Lucci
Who: Sanji and Lucci
What: PORN. Sort of. Except not at all.
Where: Some bar/motel joint on the latest island.
When: December 11th
Rating: R
There was a lull in the conversation. Lucci finished his drink - he was well on his way to being actually drunk, at this point - and idly contemplated ordering another. "How long do you think you're going to be stuck like this?" he said suddenly. He hadn't wanted to ask before, because Sanji seemed perturbed enough about it, but now...
Sanji paused in the middle of downing his...well, actually, he'd lost count awhile ago just what number drink this was. He frowned at his glass, swirling the liquid around inside, and shrugged. "Fuck if I know. Was supposed to change back like two days ago." He slouched forward over the bar, resting his chin on his hand, and glowered at nothing in particular. "At least the clothes got put to good use, I guess."
"True," said Lucci. He couldn't think of anything else to say. "How much of it did you eat?"
"Usopp already asked me that." Sanji turned a bit, giving Lucci a sidelong glance. "Only took one bite before I realized what an idiotic mistake I'd made."
"Hmm." Lucci looked into his glass. After a moment, he looked up. "Did you forget to do something? Is there something everyone else did that you didn't?"
Sanji made a frustrated sound. "No. I don't think so, anyway. I mean, when Usopp and I switched, it just...ended."
Lucci thought. "I have no idea, then. Perhaps you're just unlucky?"
"Well that ain't anything new," Sanji said, rolling his eyes. He was quiet for a moment, then: "...Maybe it's my own fault. Maybe I'm just...stalling. Somehow. For...something."
"Stalling?" Lucci had never thought of that. He smirked. "Maybe you really did want to try out the new clothes, hmm?" But he was thinking of something else that Sanji probably wouldn't take well.
"...Oh yeah, that's definitely it." Sanji swung around so he could lean back against the bar instead, gesturing with his glass down the length of his body. "Been there, done that, though - so what's the fucking hold up?"
Lucci couldn't quite stop himself from following that gesture's command. Sanji still had really nice legs like this, a fact those tights were doing nothing to conceal. "I have a few ideas," he muttered.
He knew Lucci was looking. It shouldn't have made him grin, but Sanji couldn't help himself and he was soon trying to hide a smug little smirk by knocking back the rest of his booze. Really, it was just mean to tease him. But... "What kind of ideas?"
This was difficult territory, because Lucci wanted to say something - a lot of things, really - that Sanji probably wouldn't be happy with. And he wanted to do things, too, but Sanji would probably be even less happy about that. Best to play it safe. "What do you think?" he said. Admittedly, it sounded a lot more suggestive than he'd actually intended it.
"Hmm..." Sanji chewed thoughtfully on his bottom lip. Fuck, this sucked. He really, really shouldn't... But, as his slightly swimming head was informing him, he was kind of drunk. That was a passable excuse, right? ...Wrong. No, that was a horrible excuse, and the fact that he could argue with himself about it made it pretty obvious that he was perfectly capable of making a good decision right now. "I think we should just fuck, that's probably what I'm waiting on," Sanji blurted suddenly, and then promptly wrinkled his nose and adopted a faintly confused look. Okay, so apparently his mouth had other ideas. It’d be awesome if it would consult with his brain next time, though.
Oh. Lucci hadn't been expecting that at all. He was going to say something like 'Are you sure?' or 'Do you really mean that?' despite the fact that he didn't want to, but he found himself moving without thinking about it. He rested his hand on Sanji's knee and leaned in close to his ear. "Maybe we should."
Sanji shivered, his eyes zeroing in on Lucci's hand. Yes, they should. No, they definitely shouldn't. He wanted to, he didn't, he was probably going to turn back into a guy any day now, he had to try this– "They have rooms upstairs, I think."
Lucci didn't even speak. He nodded, put his hand behind Sanji's elbow (but not before letting it slide up his leg a bit), and led him off his stool toward the stairs. He felt like if he said anything, Sanji would change his mind.
It didn't help that Lucci wasn’t saying anything, because Sanji was thinking it anyway. "This is a spectacularly bad idea, isn't it?" he said frankly, not exactly expecting an answer. He followed Lucci regardless, no hesitation in his steps.
"Maybe," Lucci admitted. He wasn't going to try to placate Sanji just to get him in bed; they were friends, and he wouldn't feel right about it. But Sanji wasn't protesting, and he continued not to protest as Lucci got them a room and led the way toward it, so he continued not to say anything either.
Sanji surveyed the room once they arrived, pausing just inside the doorway. His eyes lingered on the bed and after a moment he headed over towards it. Once there he turned back to Lucci, hands propped on his hips, eyebrow raised, and gave him a slight grin.
Lucci shut the door behind him with a sense of finality, looked across the room at Sanji, and smirked. Better. He put his hands in his pockets and crossed the room to stand in front of Sanji, just a few inches away. "Hi," he said, smirking a little more.
"Yo," Sanji replied, tilting his head back slightly so he could look up at Lucci with a smirk of his own. Then somewhat abruptly, he frowned. "...Jesus fuck, why am I so goddamn short as a girl??"
Lucci chuckled a little; he couldn't help himself. "Hmm. You are a lot shorter." He'd been shorter than Lucci to begin with, but not by this much. Lucci reached up and ran his fingers over the curve of Sanji's jaw, softer and less defined than before. "I don't mind, though.”
Sanji breathed in deeply, leaning slightly into Lucci's touch. "Mm, I'm sure you don't," he said, reaching out with one hand to fiddle with the bottom of Lucci's shirt.
"At the risk of offending you, you make an extremely attractive woman," Lucci said, letting his hand slide back through Sanji's hair. He leaned in to kiss him before he could say anything.
Sanji returned the kiss without any fuss, whatever defensive comment he'd been about to make about how he was obviously still way more appealing as a man quickly fading from thought as he lifted his other hand to curl around the back of Lucci's neck. He had to stand on his toes a bit to meet Lucci more comfortably, which was just...weird. But not awful. He could live with it.
Lucci tried to lean down a bit more to make the angle easier on Sanji - things like this were sort of annoying when it came to people shorter than him, but he didn't mind that much. He let his hands fall to Sanji's waist, sliding up until he got to the buttons on his vest, and started to undo them.
Responding in kind, Sanji slid his hand back down over Lucci’s chest, setting about getting his buttons undone, as well. He leaned into the kiss a little more insistently, tugging the bottom of Lucci's shirt out of his pants while he was at it.
The kiss grew heated very quickly, and once Lucci had the vest undone, he pushed it down off Sanji's shoulders and started to work on the buttons of his shirt. He took a step forward, urging Sanji back toward the bed.
Sanji took a step back without even thinking about it, moving until the back of his knees hit the mattress. He slid his hands underneath Lucci's unbuttoned shirt, over his chest and across his stomach, tracing random patterns against his skin.
Lucci made a low, pleased noise into the kiss, biting softly on Sanji's lower lip and unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way. He ran his hands over Sanji's skin in much the same way Sanji was touching him - he still had that same lean muscle that Lucci liked, but his skin was...slightly different, in a way. He couldn't put his finger on it. Clearly the answer was to touch him more until he figured it out.
Oh, that was...really nice. Sanji arched up into Lucci's touch, a breathy gasp escaping him at the familiar feel of Lucci's hands. Familiar…and yet entirely different at the same time. The way his fingers dragged over Sanji's skin now sent new shivers down his spine – it was like his body was suddenly oversensitive, like every little brush against him was enough to set him aflame. Sanji groaned lightly and quickly pulled Lucci’s shirt all the way off. He needed more skin-on-skin contact, and he needed it now.
It was a little surprising how into this Sanji was already; he'd always been pretty responsive, and Lucci liked that - a lot - but he'd expected Sanji to be a little more hesitant and unsure right now, considering the circumstances. Not to mention how he'd spent over a week avoiding the subject. But Lucci wasn't complaining. He turned and bit the side of Sanji's neck, sliding his shirt the rest of the way off and pulling him close.
Sanji yelped suddenly before he could stop himself, jerking away from Lucci's teeth and slapping a hand over the side of his neck. "Ow, what–" He scowled, looking somewhat confused, and then flushed as he dragged his eyes back to look at Lucci. "...Sorry," he mumbled.
Startled, Lucci stepped back and took his hands away. "...Are you okay?" he asked, confused. He'd never objected to that before... Was it really that much different?
"Fine. I'm fine," Sanji said quickly, reaching for Lucci again. "That was just...different - but not bad! I think." He hooked his fingers in Lucci's belt loops, pulling him back in so he could kiss him before he said anything else.
Oh. That was better. Lucci kissed back, easing out of the state of alarm and back into something more pleasant quickly enough. He'd just have to remember not to bite, apparently. That might end up being kind of hard, but he'd manage. It was just strange: Sanji was still the same person, basically, but he looked and felt so different...good, though. Definitely still good.
Some part of Sanji's mind seemed to settle in relief, like it’d thought he'd actually be able to scare Lucci off or something. Another part, however, was frowning heavily and had been the entire night. This was wrong, remember? He'd promised, yet here he was... But Sanji ignored that part and instead fell backwards onto the bed, pulling Lucci with him.
Lucci propped himself up a little so his full weight wasn't pressing down on Sanji, who really was a lot smaller than him now. It was even more evident in this position. He kissed Sanji's neck again, remembering not to bite, and let his fingers trail over the other side of Sanji's neck, his shoulder, collarbone, and finally down to cup his breast.
Sanji jumped a bit, unused to having anyone else's hand...there. Or hell, even having breasts to begin with. A way-too-girly giggle bubbled up in his chest, and he crushed his mouth harder against Lucci's to hide it. God, shit, this was gonna be weird, especially since he didn't really know what to expect.
It was different, but the way Sanji jumped like that and tried to pass it off like nothing happened - that was familiar. Lucci was smirking a little when he pulled back from the kiss. "One second," he said, and got up, kneeling on the floor in front of the bed. He pulled both of Sanji's shoes off, and then, with a slightly more devious smirk, slowly slid his hands up Sanji's legs, over the tights and underneath his skirt.
Sanji pushed himself up on his elbows, looking down at where Lucci was smirking at him between his legs. He tried to go for a carefully blank expression, but he could feel his face slowly turning red anyway as Lucci's hands crept higher and higher. There was no stopping the way his breathing picked up slightly, and he swallowed just a bit nervously in anticipation.
"Did I ever tell you," Lucci said, as his hands reached Sanji's hips, "that you have fantastic legs?" His fingers curled under the edges of the tights and started to pull them down. "Both versions. But it makes sense; they get enough use..."
"Mm..." Sanji let his head thump back against the mattress, his hips lifting almost on their own so Lucci could slide his tights off. "You didn't, no. But I knew it anyway," he said with a slight grin. He lifted one leg once it was free, watching idly as he rotated his foot around and flexed his calf muscle. "...I actually shaved. Can you believe it? I couldn't handle being a girl with hairy legs."
Lucci snorted. "Knowing you? Yes, I can believe it." He took hold of Sanji's ankle and pretended to give his leg a very critical look. "I'm impressed you didn't cut yourself, though." He pressed his lips against the now-smooth skin above Sanji's ankle, and then again a little higher up, and a little higher up than that...
“…You haven’t seen my other leg yet,” Sanji said faintly, swallowing again as Lucci moved higher. “Kinda…nicked my ankle. And knee.” His stomach was doing that swooping thing again, and there was a tightening sort of burn in his gut that wasn’t all that different from what he was used to. The kind of…tingling that went along with it, though…down there…that was new. “That’s…ah, that’s the leg I started on,” he continued, babbling to distract himself. “So you know. It was – I’d perfected my razor technique by the time I…got to the second one. Yeah.”
"Mmhm," Lucci said, completely impassive. His other hand was creeping up the inside of Sanji's thigh - if he'd done a bad job of it there with the razor, Lucci couldn't feel it - as he made a path with his lips up to Sanji's knee. "I have to ask," he said, turning to rest his face against Sanji's leg as he pulled the skirt up higher. "You felt it necessary to buy women's underwear?"
Women's...? Oh. Sanji finally fell silent, lowering his gaze from where he'd been staring fixedly at the ceiling to look at Lucci instead. "I didn't buy them," he said. "They're George's—er." Sanji’s eyes widened slightly, not sure how exactly that would go over, and he quickly added: "Um. And the bra is Nami-san's."
...Lucci wasn't sure how he should feel about that. Probably noncommittal. What he did feel was slightly depressed again, because being a little drunk and thinking about George was a bad combination, and faintly annoyed that Sanji had to bring it up, and...a little bit turned on, which was completely inappropriate. Ugh. "Ah," he said after a moment, carefully neutral. He looked down at his own hand and shifted it higher under Sanji's skirt, trying not to think about that anymore. "...Does it feel different?" he asked.
"Yes," Sanji answered quickly, glad for a change of topic, no matter what it was. "...And also no. I don't know, it's weird." He chewed on his bottom lip, hips shifting down towards Lucci's hand "It's...I can't even explain it. But - you've been a girl. Didn't you...try anything?"
Lucci shrugged a little. "Of course. I wish I could have done more, frankly, but we never ended up getting to an island." He traced his hand around the edge of the skirt until he found where it zipped up, and pulled it down. "I know what you mean, but...well, it's probably different for everyone." He smirked. "I don't think my resistance to pain was any different."
"Too bad we weren't sleeping together back then," Sanji muttered. "Definitely would've helped you out with that." He pushed at the stop of his skirt once the zipper was down, trying to shimmy out of it, but then paused halfway to glower at Lucci. "Shut up, it's not that it hurt, asshole, it just – surprised me!"
Lucci just smiled. "Of course. Because I haven't done that every single time we've had sex." He pulled the skirt the rest of the way off and let it fall to the floor. "Believe me, though," he said, hands going back to Sanji's hips, "I would have asked if I thought there was any chance you'd say yes." He thought about that for a moment as he slid his fingers under the waistband of what he steadfastly ignored were George's panties. "Well, maybe not. You mocked me, and treated me like every other pretty girl in the universe, and I didn't appreciate it."
Sanji had the decency to look a little sheepish. "...Oh yeah. I did, didn't I? Ahah...sorry. I'd say it was habit, but I was probably just amusing myself." He watched as Lucci's fingers dipped beneath his underwear, and at the first slight tug on them an unexpected flash of panic swept through him. He reached down, curling his hands around Lucci's wrists, and tried to pull him further up his body. "Wait, hang on,” he said quickly. “Come here."
Caught off guard, Lucci looked up and blinked. "Problem?" he asked, getting up to sit on the bed next to Sanji. His hand was still on Sanji's knee, but he figured if that was a problem, he would find out.
"...No, it's just." Sanji's mouth worked, trying to find words for something he had no explanation for. He felt weirdly embarrassed now. "Er. You...have too many clothes on still." He nodded in the direction of Lucci's legs. "Pants. Off."
For a moment, Lucci paused. Then he smirked. "Okay," he said, as though Sanji were being totally unreasonable, and stood up, unzipping his pants and pushing them off. "Happy?" he said, spreading his arms to indicate the fact that he was no longer overdressed.
Sanji ran his eyes up and down Lucci's body as though it was the first time he'd seen him almost naked. "Yes," he replied, giving him a leering sort of grin. He rolled up onto his knees, scooting to the edge of the bed where Lucci was, and wrapped his arms around his shoulders so he could lean in to kiss him.
Lucci kissed back, hands sliding down Sanji's sides and then slowly up from the small of his back, tracing along his spine. Once his hands reached the back of the bra Sanji was wearing, his first thought was to just take it off, but considering the way Sanji was acting... "Do you mind?" he asked, and then leaned in further to kiss Sanji's neck just under his jaw.
There was just the slightest moment of hesitation, almost unnoticeable, before Sanji murmured: "Of course not." He tilted his head back a bit to give Lucci more room, and let out a pleased sound, his own hands running down over Lucci's chest.
Lucci just assumed that if they kept going, eventually Sanji would relax a little more. He unhooked the bra and pulled it down over Sanji's arms, and then kissed him again, and then pulled back a little and...looked. He glanced back up at Sanji's face and smirked. "Not bad."
Sanji blushed. Of course, what else was new. This wasn't even really his body and he'd practically had it on display for the past week anyway, so what was he getting all embarrassed for? "...Thanks," he said, just a touch sarcastically, and ignored the urge to cross his arms over his chest.
"You take compliments awfully hard," Lucci said idly. He cupped Sanji's breasts in his hands and leaned down to run his tongue over the curve of one, pressing lightly with his fingers and brushing his thumb over the stiff peak of one nipple.
"Shut up, I'm just trying to get used to—nngh." Sanji choked and then sucked in a breath, hands flailing for something, anything, to hold onto. They landed on Lucci's head, fingers digging back into his hair. "Oohhhh, that's—a-ahh...” A flash of heat swept through him and he groaned lightly, squirming under Lucci’s hands.
That was a very nice reaction. Lucci hummed quietly, dragging his tongue over a nipple and sucking lightly.
Sanji groaned again, fingers tightening in Lucci's hair. "...Okay," he said, panting a bit. "Now it's different." He leaned back slightly, pulling Lucci with him, wanting to fall back on the bed again.
"Is it?" Lucci leaned over Sanji on the bed, smirking at him. He gave Sanji a kiss that bordered on bruising, running his hand over pale, heated skin. "Am I sufficiently naked for you to be more naked?"
In response, Sanji wrapped his legs around Lucci's hips and rocked up against him. "I think so," he said, despite that part of his mind that now balked at the idea. He kissed Lucci again, kind of squashing his breasts against his chest as he clung to him.
Well, that was good and distracting. Lucci kissed back, holding onto Sanji's hips and rocking back against him in kind. After a moment, he broke the kiss and looked at Sanji for a moment, thinking. "Move further up on the bed," he said.
It took Sanji a minute to even be able to focus on what Lucci was saying. He felt weird - he was hot all over, yet still shivering, his muscles felt tense, and he wanted, god he wanted... His head was still slightly muddled from all the booze earlier, but it was starting to clear and really, he hadn't been drunk to begin with. But the more sober he got, the guiltier he felt. Sanji shook his head briefly, sending a mental shut the fuck UP to his brain, and did as he was told. He scooted backwards and rested against the pillows, grinning at Lucci. His legs were still spread, bent at the knees, practically inviting the other man to fall between them again.
That was unreasonably hot, but Lucci wasn't about to protest. He leaned down over Sanji again, kissing him and then moving down to his neck - he bit a little, but not too hard. His fingers were kind of digging into Sanji's thigh; after a moment he let his hand slide higher up, resting at his waist. This time he was going to wait until Sanji said it was okay, just to be safe.
Sanji gasped, the feeling of Lucci's teeth on him not as sharp this time and instead making him toss his head back. He waited on edge as Lucci's hand moved higher, almost unconsciously shifting his hips against him...and then kept waiting when Lucci paused. After a moment he looked down, raising an eyebrow. "...Well?"
Lucci raised an eyebrow back in response. "Well, I didn't want you to panic again," he explained, and kissed him again before he could say anything. He moved out of the way a bit and tugged Sanji's - well, technically George's, whatever - panties down, having to sit up at one point to get them all the way off.
...Wow, and now he was naked. And that much closer to– Sanji's heart rate picked up, along with his breathing again. Holy hell, what was wrong with him? He started to close his legs, paused, cursed at himself some more, and finally just took a deep breath, trying to calm down. When he looked back at Lucci there was a determined gleam in his eye. He slid his hands up his thighs, giving Lucci a coy little smirk.
Ooh. That was...interesting. Lucci just looked for a moment, taking in the view and trying to ignore the way Sanji kept stalling because he was getting a bad feeling about it. Finally, he put his hand out to follow the same path as Sanji's, moving up the inside of his thigh until he could finally touch him, fingers sliding through soft, wet heat.
Oh, jesus fuck. Sanji made a strangled sound, his face practically glowing it went so red, and as much as part of him wanted to encourage it, wanted to spread wider, invite Lucci in, actually TRY this... Something inside him snapped, and the other part finally won out. "Wait," he said in a rush, pushing himself halfway up on his elbows. "Fucking shit - wait, wait, wait. Stop."
...Lucci stopped. He sighed, pulled away, sat up, put some distance between them, and gave Sanji an extremely critical look. "All right. Is this because you're a woman, or because you feel guilty? Is this going to work, or should I just give up?"
Sanji slowly sat the rest of the way up, pulling his legs in until he was sitting cross-legged. Almost as an afterthought, he grabbed a pillow and threw it across his lap, slumping over it. "...All of the above?" he finally said, looking at anything that wasn't Lucci. He dragged a hand through his hair, looking miserable, and exhaled noisily. "I -- sorry. But I think... I can't."
Lucci didn't know how to respond to that without swearing. He wanted to be angry at Sanji - well, he was, but...he also felt like this was his fault, because even if Sanji had brought it up, they'd both known it wasn't going to work, and...maybe...maybe Lucci had only done it because he was bitter. Because he didn't want everyone else to have something he couldn't. Maybe he'd only tried to sleep with Sanji so he couldn't have Zoro. ...That didn't even rate on the scale of new lows for him, but it was still pretty rotten. He turned to sit on the edge of the bed and put his face in his hand. "...Fine."
It wasn't until Lucci turned around that Sanji finally glanced over at him. He watched him carefully, wanting to...something. Put a hand on his shoulder, apologize some more, he didn't know. Instead he sighed, flopping back onto the bed and reaching for another pillow to throw over his face. "I promised him," he said, voice muffled. "Zoro. I told him I wouldn't, I said he didn't have a goddamn thing to worry about, and I still... Shit. I fucking suck." He lifted the pillow a bit, looking over to Lucci again. "And that was George's underwear and – I don't know. But it's weird."
At that, Lucci went stiff. It was probably irrational, definitely irrational, but he was suddenly furious that Sanji would even bring that up. Did he think that it would make Lucci feel better? Did he think that Lucci hadn't spent the last several minutes steadfastly ignoring that fact because it was Sanji and not George, George had nothing to do with this - he had to remind himself that punching Sanji would be completely out of line. "...Why would you say that?" he asked. He was pretty sure the look on his face was halfway between hurt and disgusted, and he couldn't bring himself to care about concealing it.
"...I don't know." Sanji watched the line of Lucci's back go still, watched his muscles clench... He wondered if he should be worried. "I know she has nothing to do with this...us, you and me, but... I feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed, and this was one of them. You may not care who sleeps with who, but she's in the middle of trying to figure out who the hell she wants and you're supposed to be in love with her and I'm supposed to be her friend, but here we are, practically fucking, and I'm wearing her clothes -- it's just. MESSED UP." Sanji sat up abruptly, burying his face in his hands. "I feel like a total asshole, and then there's Zoro, and...what the hell."
"Sanji--" Lucci stopped, forcing the volume of his voice down. "...I'm selfish. I know I am. I should not have asked you to do this. I just needed--" He looked away. "I just wanted to... God, this wasn't supposed to be about any of them. This is pathetic. You know what? You're right. Half the reason I fucked you in the first place was that I was sick of picking up little blonde women in bars, and now look where I am. Ha." It was utterly humorless and overwhelmingly bitter. "...I shouldn't even be saying this to you."
Sanji fell silent for a moment. Then: "You weren't the one that asked, dumbass. I suggested it." He sighed and straightened up, keeping one arm across his chest. Like it even mattered at this point. "...Would you hand me my skirt? And shirt. Actually - the vest, give me that. I need a cigarette."
Lucci sat still for a moment. More than anything, he wanted to just storm out of the room, but he would have to get dressed first, and all said it was easier to just pick up the clothes and hand them to Sanji, so he did. Then he reached down to pick up his pants and pulled them on. "Can we forget I said that?" he muttered.
Sanji shrugged, ignoring getting dressed in favor of lighting up as quickly as he could. He inhaled the nicotine gratefully, and kept his eyes on his cigarette when he spoke again. "Guess I'm just not...good at doing the emotionally detached thing. Shoulda known. Even if it's not about anyone else, they can still get hurt by it."
Lucci leaned against the wall, crossed his arms, and shook his head. "It's all just..." He didn't know what to say. "I'm sick of being careful of other people's feelings. I was happier when I didn't care. ...Well, that's not true, but...at least I wasn't this miserable half the time." He sighed. "...I wish I smoked."
"You can bum one, if you want." Sanji pushed the pack towards the edge of the bed in case he said yes, then finally went about pulling his clothes on. Or...the tights and bra, anyway. He ignored George's panties, and the rest seemed too complicated right now. "It's a bitch, I guess. Caring about people. But...it's usually worth it, in the end. Did you get this room for the night?"
Lucci shook his head. "I just mean that your vice doesn't hurt anyone but yourself." He sighed. "I didn't know how long we'd be here, so yes, I did. If you want to stay, you can. I think I'll...I don't know. Either get drunk or go hunting, possibly both in either order."
Sanji looked up, giving him a sharp look. "Hunting?"
"Deer," Lucci said, glaring a little. "We've been through this."
"...Ah." Sanji cleared his throat, shifting his gaze off to the side. "Right. Sorry."
With a sigh, Lucci pushed off from the wall and went to get his shirt. "It's not the same. There's still blood, but they don't...they just take it. Prey animals know they're going to die the moment they're born; they can see their place better than anyone can. They accept their own mortality. Humans fight. Even when they don't stand a chance, you can see how afraid they are, how impassioned...when a deer knows it's done for, it's resigned. Looking in its eyes, it's almost saying 'let's get this over with'."
Sanji took another drag of his smoke, frowning around it. "...So what's even the point?"
Lucci shrugged, tugging on his shirt. "Blood. The power rush. Satisfaction of predatory instinct. Practice; working out my senses by hunting keeps me sharp." He focused on his buttons. "...It's just different, though. It feels good, but it's a different kind of good. And nowhere near as good."
There wasn't much he could say to that. Sanji wasn't sure he'd ever really get Lucci's...addiction, but at least he wasn't going after humans. He sighed, stubbing out his cigarette in an ashtray on the bedside table, and then pulled at the bed covers so he could slide beneath the sheets. "Whatever, just - be careful. Or something. I mean, if you're gonna get drunk first. Think I'm gonna stay here for a bit, but...I'll be back in time to make breakfast."
"I don't think I'm going to get drunk first; that would sort of negate the point." Lucci finished getting dressed and stood there for a moment, adjusting his clothes to make it look like they hadn't all been thrown on the floor. "It's nice to know that there's always going to be a part of me that scares people," he said conversationally. "Part of me that no one understands or wants to understand. That way, when she leaves me - whether in a few years at best or if she's never with me at all - I can just remember that I've always been a monster deep down, and look back on the time when I had something I didn't deserve, and at least it will seem fair that it's gone. You know?" He opened the door. "I'll see you in the morning." And closed it behind him.
Sanji sat up in a rush, half throwing off the covers he'd just been burying himself under. "Lucci—" But the door was already shut, the best sign there could be that the conversation was over. That the night was over, that this whole stupid mess had come to a final, awkward end. Sanji groaned, sort of tempted to go after him, but ultimately decided that would probably be a bad idea. Instead he collapsed back onto the pillows again and dragged the covers over his head. He would deal with all this shit tomorrow.
END
What: PORN. Sort of. Except not at all.
Where: Some bar/motel joint on the latest island.
When: December 11th
Rating: R
There was a lull in the conversation. Lucci finished his drink - he was well on his way to being actually drunk, at this point - and idly contemplated ordering another. "How long do you think you're going to be stuck like this?" he said suddenly. He hadn't wanted to ask before, because Sanji seemed perturbed enough about it, but now...
Sanji paused in the middle of downing his...well, actually, he'd lost count awhile ago just what number drink this was. He frowned at his glass, swirling the liquid around inside, and shrugged. "Fuck if I know. Was supposed to change back like two days ago." He slouched forward over the bar, resting his chin on his hand, and glowered at nothing in particular. "At least the clothes got put to good use, I guess."
"True," said Lucci. He couldn't think of anything else to say. "How much of it did you eat?"
"Usopp already asked me that." Sanji turned a bit, giving Lucci a sidelong glance. "Only took one bite before I realized what an idiotic mistake I'd made."
"Hmm." Lucci looked into his glass. After a moment, he looked up. "Did you forget to do something? Is there something everyone else did that you didn't?"
Sanji made a frustrated sound. "No. I don't think so, anyway. I mean, when Usopp and I switched, it just...ended."
Lucci thought. "I have no idea, then. Perhaps you're just unlucky?"
"Well that ain't anything new," Sanji said, rolling his eyes. He was quiet for a moment, then: "...Maybe it's my own fault. Maybe I'm just...stalling. Somehow. For...something."
"Stalling?" Lucci had never thought of that. He smirked. "Maybe you really did want to try out the new clothes, hmm?" But he was thinking of something else that Sanji probably wouldn't take well.
"...Oh yeah, that's definitely it." Sanji swung around so he could lean back against the bar instead, gesturing with his glass down the length of his body. "Been there, done that, though - so what's the fucking hold up?"
Lucci couldn't quite stop himself from following that gesture's command. Sanji still had really nice legs like this, a fact those tights were doing nothing to conceal. "I have a few ideas," he muttered.
He knew Lucci was looking. It shouldn't have made him grin, but Sanji couldn't help himself and he was soon trying to hide a smug little smirk by knocking back the rest of his booze. Really, it was just mean to tease him. But... "What kind of ideas?"
This was difficult territory, because Lucci wanted to say something - a lot of things, really - that Sanji probably wouldn't be happy with. And he wanted to do things, too, but Sanji would probably be even less happy about that. Best to play it safe. "What do you think?" he said. Admittedly, it sounded a lot more suggestive than he'd actually intended it.
"Hmm..." Sanji chewed thoughtfully on his bottom lip. Fuck, this sucked. He really, really shouldn't... But, as his slightly swimming head was informing him, he was kind of drunk. That was a passable excuse, right? ...Wrong. No, that was a horrible excuse, and the fact that he could argue with himself about it made it pretty obvious that he was perfectly capable of making a good decision right now. "I think we should just fuck, that's probably what I'm waiting on," Sanji blurted suddenly, and then promptly wrinkled his nose and adopted a faintly confused look. Okay, so apparently his mouth had other ideas. It’d be awesome if it would consult with his brain next time, though.
Oh. Lucci hadn't been expecting that at all. He was going to say something like 'Are you sure?' or 'Do you really mean that?' despite the fact that he didn't want to, but he found himself moving without thinking about it. He rested his hand on Sanji's knee and leaned in close to his ear. "Maybe we should."
Sanji shivered, his eyes zeroing in on Lucci's hand. Yes, they should. No, they definitely shouldn't. He wanted to, he didn't, he was probably going to turn back into a guy any day now, he had to try this– "They have rooms upstairs, I think."
Lucci didn't even speak. He nodded, put his hand behind Sanji's elbow (but not before letting it slide up his leg a bit), and led him off his stool toward the stairs. He felt like if he said anything, Sanji would change his mind.
It didn't help that Lucci wasn’t saying anything, because Sanji was thinking it anyway. "This is a spectacularly bad idea, isn't it?" he said frankly, not exactly expecting an answer. He followed Lucci regardless, no hesitation in his steps.
"Maybe," Lucci admitted. He wasn't going to try to placate Sanji just to get him in bed; they were friends, and he wouldn't feel right about it. But Sanji wasn't protesting, and he continued not to protest as Lucci got them a room and led the way toward it, so he continued not to say anything either.
Sanji surveyed the room once they arrived, pausing just inside the doorway. His eyes lingered on the bed and after a moment he headed over towards it. Once there he turned back to Lucci, hands propped on his hips, eyebrow raised, and gave him a slight grin.
Lucci shut the door behind him with a sense of finality, looked across the room at Sanji, and smirked. Better. He put his hands in his pockets and crossed the room to stand in front of Sanji, just a few inches away. "Hi," he said, smirking a little more.
"Yo," Sanji replied, tilting his head back slightly so he could look up at Lucci with a smirk of his own. Then somewhat abruptly, he frowned. "...Jesus fuck, why am I so goddamn short as a girl??"
Lucci chuckled a little; he couldn't help himself. "Hmm. You are a lot shorter." He'd been shorter than Lucci to begin with, but not by this much. Lucci reached up and ran his fingers over the curve of Sanji's jaw, softer and less defined than before. "I don't mind, though.”
Sanji breathed in deeply, leaning slightly into Lucci's touch. "Mm, I'm sure you don't," he said, reaching out with one hand to fiddle with the bottom of Lucci's shirt.
"At the risk of offending you, you make an extremely attractive woman," Lucci said, letting his hand slide back through Sanji's hair. He leaned in to kiss him before he could say anything.
Sanji returned the kiss without any fuss, whatever defensive comment he'd been about to make about how he was obviously still way more appealing as a man quickly fading from thought as he lifted his other hand to curl around the back of Lucci's neck. He had to stand on his toes a bit to meet Lucci more comfortably, which was just...weird. But not awful. He could live with it.
Lucci tried to lean down a bit more to make the angle easier on Sanji - things like this were sort of annoying when it came to people shorter than him, but he didn't mind that much. He let his hands fall to Sanji's waist, sliding up until he got to the buttons on his vest, and started to undo them.
Responding in kind, Sanji slid his hand back down over Lucci’s chest, setting about getting his buttons undone, as well. He leaned into the kiss a little more insistently, tugging the bottom of Lucci's shirt out of his pants while he was at it.
The kiss grew heated very quickly, and once Lucci had the vest undone, he pushed it down off Sanji's shoulders and started to work on the buttons of his shirt. He took a step forward, urging Sanji back toward the bed.
Sanji took a step back without even thinking about it, moving until the back of his knees hit the mattress. He slid his hands underneath Lucci's unbuttoned shirt, over his chest and across his stomach, tracing random patterns against his skin.
Lucci made a low, pleased noise into the kiss, biting softly on Sanji's lower lip and unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way. He ran his hands over Sanji's skin in much the same way Sanji was touching him - he still had that same lean muscle that Lucci liked, but his skin was...slightly different, in a way. He couldn't put his finger on it. Clearly the answer was to touch him more until he figured it out.
Oh, that was...really nice. Sanji arched up into Lucci's touch, a breathy gasp escaping him at the familiar feel of Lucci's hands. Familiar…and yet entirely different at the same time. The way his fingers dragged over Sanji's skin now sent new shivers down his spine – it was like his body was suddenly oversensitive, like every little brush against him was enough to set him aflame. Sanji groaned lightly and quickly pulled Lucci’s shirt all the way off. He needed more skin-on-skin contact, and he needed it now.
It was a little surprising how into this Sanji was already; he'd always been pretty responsive, and Lucci liked that - a lot - but he'd expected Sanji to be a little more hesitant and unsure right now, considering the circumstances. Not to mention how he'd spent over a week avoiding the subject. But Lucci wasn't complaining. He turned and bit the side of Sanji's neck, sliding his shirt the rest of the way off and pulling him close.
Sanji yelped suddenly before he could stop himself, jerking away from Lucci's teeth and slapping a hand over the side of his neck. "Ow, what–" He scowled, looking somewhat confused, and then flushed as he dragged his eyes back to look at Lucci. "...Sorry," he mumbled.
Startled, Lucci stepped back and took his hands away. "...Are you okay?" he asked, confused. He'd never objected to that before... Was it really that much different?
"Fine. I'm fine," Sanji said quickly, reaching for Lucci again. "That was just...different - but not bad! I think." He hooked his fingers in Lucci's belt loops, pulling him back in so he could kiss him before he said anything else.
Oh. That was better. Lucci kissed back, easing out of the state of alarm and back into something more pleasant quickly enough. He'd just have to remember not to bite, apparently. That might end up being kind of hard, but he'd manage. It was just strange: Sanji was still the same person, basically, but he looked and felt so different...good, though. Definitely still good.
Some part of Sanji's mind seemed to settle in relief, like it’d thought he'd actually be able to scare Lucci off or something. Another part, however, was frowning heavily and had been the entire night. This was wrong, remember? He'd promised, yet here he was... But Sanji ignored that part and instead fell backwards onto the bed, pulling Lucci with him.
Lucci propped himself up a little so his full weight wasn't pressing down on Sanji, who really was a lot smaller than him now. It was even more evident in this position. He kissed Sanji's neck again, remembering not to bite, and let his fingers trail over the other side of Sanji's neck, his shoulder, collarbone, and finally down to cup his breast.
Sanji jumped a bit, unused to having anyone else's hand...there. Or hell, even having breasts to begin with. A way-too-girly giggle bubbled up in his chest, and he crushed his mouth harder against Lucci's to hide it. God, shit, this was gonna be weird, especially since he didn't really know what to expect.
It was different, but the way Sanji jumped like that and tried to pass it off like nothing happened - that was familiar. Lucci was smirking a little when he pulled back from the kiss. "One second," he said, and got up, kneeling on the floor in front of the bed. He pulled both of Sanji's shoes off, and then, with a slightly more devious smirk, slowly slid his hands up Sanji's legs, over the tights and underneath his skirt.
Sanji pushed himself up on his elbows, looking down at where Lucci was smirking at him between his legs. He tried to go for a carefully blank expression, but he could feel his face slowly turning red anyway as Lucci's hands crept higher and higher. There was no stopping the way his breathing picked up slightly, and he swallowed just a bit nervously in anticipation.
"Did I ever tell you," Lucci said, as his hands reached Sanji's hips, "that you have fantastic legs?" His fingers curled under the edges of the tights and started to pull them down. "Both versions. But it makes sense; they get enough use..."
"Mm..." Sanji let his head thump back against the mattress, his hips lifting almost on their own so Lucci could slide his tights off. "You didn't, no. But I knew it anyway," he said with a slight grin. He lifted one leg once it was free, watching idly as he rotated his foot around and flexed his calf muscle. "...I actually shaved. Can you believe it? I couldn't handle being a girl with hairy legs."
Lucci snorted. "Knowing you? Yes, I can believe it." He took hold of Sanji's ankle and pretended to give his leg a very critical look. "I'm impressed you didn't cut yourself, though." He pressed his lips against the now-smooth skin above Sanji's ankle, and then again a little higher up, and a little higher up than that...
“…You haven’t seen my other leg yet,” Sanji said faintly, swallowing again as Lucci moved higher. “Kinda…nicked my ankle. And knee.” His stomach was doing that swooping thing again, and there was a tightening sort of burn in his gut that wasn’t all that different from what he was used to. The kind of…tingling that went along with it, though…down there…that was new. “That’s…ah, that’s the leg I started on,” he continued, babbling to distract himself. “So you know. It was – I’d perfected my razor technique by the time I…got to the second one. Yeah.”
"Mmhm," Lucci said, completely impassive. His other hand was creeping up the inside of Sanji's thigh - if he'd done a bad job of it there with the razor, Lucci couldn't feel it - as he made a path with his lips up to Sanji's knee. "I have to ask," he said, turning to rest his face against Sanji's leg as he pulled the skirt up higher. "You felt it necessary to buy women's underwear?"
Women's...? Oh. Sanji finally fell silent, lowering his gaze from where he'd been staring fixedly at the ceiling to look at Lucci instead. "I didn't buy them," he said. "They're George's—er." Sanji’s eyes widened slightly, not sure how exactly that would go over, and he quickly added: "Um. And the bra is Nami-san's."
...Lucci wasn't sure how he should feel about that. Probably noncommittal. What he did feel was slightly depressed again, because being a little drunk and thinking about George was a bad combination, and faintly annoyed that Sanji had to bring it up, and...a little bit turned on, which was completely inappropriate. Ugh. "Ah," he said after a moment, carefully neutral. He looked down at his own hand and shifted it higher under Sanji's skirt, trying not to think about that anymore. "...Does it feel different?" he asked.
"Yes," Sanji answered quickly, glad for a change of topic, no matter what it was. "...And also no. I don't know, it's weird." He chewed on his bottom lip, hips shifting down towards Lucci's hand "It's...I can't even explain it. But - you've been a girl. Didn't you...try anything?"
Lucci shrugged a little. "Of course. I wish I could have done more, frankly, but we never ended up getting to an island." He traced his hand around the edge of the skirt until he found where it zipped up, and pulled it down. "I know what you mean, but...well, it's probably different for everyone." He smirked. "I don't think my resistance to pain was any different."
"Too bad we weren't sleeping together back then," Sanji muttered. "Definitely would've helped you out with that." He pushed at the stop of his skirt once the zipper was down, trying to shimmy out of it, but then paused halfway to glower at Lucci. "Shut up, it's not that it hurt, asshole, it just – surprised me!"
Lucci just smiled. "Of course. Because I haven't done that every single time we've had sex." He pulled the skirt the rest of the way off and let it fall to the floor. "Believe me, though," he said, hands going back to Sanji's hips, "I would have asked if I thought there was any chance you'd say yes." He thought about that for a moment as he slid his fingers under the waistband of what he steadfastly ignored were George's panties. "Well, maybe not. You mocked me, and treated me like every other pretty girl in the universe, and I didn't appreciate it."
Sanji had the decency to look a little sheepish. "...Oh yeah. I did, didn't I? Ahah...sorry. I'd say it was habit, but I was probably just amusing myself." He watched as Lucci's fingers dipped beneath his underwear, and at the first slight tug on them an unexpected flash of panic swept through him. He reached down, curling his hands around Lucci's wrists, and tried to pull him further up his body. "Wait, hang on,” he said quickly. “Come here."
Caught off guard, Lucci looked up and blinked. "Problem?" he asked, getting up to sit on the bed next to Sanji. His hand was still on Sanji's knee, but he figured if that was a problem, he would find out.
"...No, it's just." Sanji's mouth worked, trying to find words for something he had no explanation for. He felt weirdly embarrassed now. "Er. You...have too many clothes on still." He nodded in the direction of Lucci's legs. "Pants. Off."
For a moment, Lucci paused. Then he smirked. "Okay," he said, as though Sanji were being totally unreasonable, and stood up, unzipping his pants and pushing them off. "Happy?" he said, spreading his arms to indicate the fact that he was no longer overdressed.
Sanji ran his eyes up and down Lucci's body as though it was the first time he'd seen him almost naked. "Yes," he replied, giving him a leering sort of grin. He rolled up onto his knees, scooting to the edge of the bed where Lucci was, and wrapped his arms around his shoulders so he could lean in to kiss him.
Lucci kissed back, hands sliding down Sanji's sides and then slowly up from the small of his back, tracing along his spine. Once his hands reached the back of the bra Sanji was wearing, his first thought was to just take it off, but considering the way Sanji was acting... "Do you mind?" he asked, and then leaned in further to kiss Sanji's neck just under his jaw.
There was just the slightest moment of hesitation, almost unnoticeable, before Sanji murmured: "Of course not." He tilted his head back a bit to give Lucci more room, and let out a pleased sound, his own hands running down over Lucci's chest.
Lucci just assumed that if they kept going, eventually Sanji would relax a little more. He unhooked the bra and pulled it down over Sanji's arms, and then kissed him again, and then pulled back a little and...looked. He glanced back up at Sanji's face and smirked. "Not bad."
Sanji blushed. Of course, what else was new. This wasn't even really his body and he'd practically had it on display for the past week anyway, so what was he getting all embarrassed for? "...Thanks," he said, just a touch sarcastically, and ignored the urge to cross his arms over his chest.
"You take compliments awfully hard," Lucci said idly. He cupped Sanji's breasts in his hands and leaned down to run his tongue over the curve of one, pressing lightly with his fingers and brushing his thumb over the stiff peak of one nipple.
"Shut up, I'm just trying to get used to—nngh." Sanji choked and then sucked in a breath, hands flailing for something, anything, to hold onto. They landed on Lucci's head, fingers digging back into his hair. "Oohhhh, that's—a-ahh...” A flash of heat swept through him and he groaned lightly, squirming under Lucci’s hands.
That was a very nice reaction. Lucci hummed quietly, dragging his tongue over a nipple and sucking lightly.
Sanji groaned again, fingers tightening in Lucci's hair. "...Okay," he said, panting a bit. "Now it's different." He leaned back slightly, pulling Lucci with him, wanting to fall back on the bed again.
"Is it?" Lucci leaned over Sanji on the bed, smirking at him. He gave Sanji a kiss that bordered on bruising, running his hand over pale, heated skin. "Am I sufficiently naked for you to be more naked?"
In response, Sanji wrapped his legs around Lucci's hips and rocked up against him. "I think so," he said, despite that part of his mind that now balked at the idea. He kissed Lucci again, kind of squashing his breasts against his chest as he clung to him.
Well, that was good and distracting. Lucci kissed back, holding onto Sanji's hips and rocking back against him in kind. After a moment, he broke the kiss and looked at Sanji for a moment, thinking. "Move further up on the bed," he said.
It took Sanji a minute to even be able to focus on what Lucci was saying. He felt weird - he was hot all over, yet still shivering, his muscles felt tense, and he wanted, god he wanted... His head was still slightly muddled from all the booze earlier, but it was starting to clear and really, he hadn't been drunk to begin with. But the more sober he got, the guiltier he felt. Sanji shook his head briefly, sending a mental shut the fuck UP to his brain, and did as he was told. He scooted backwards and rested against the pillows, grinning at Lucci. His legs were still spread, bent at the knees, practically inviting the other man to fall between them again.
That was unreasonably hot, but Lucci wasn't about to protest. He leaned down over Sanji again, kissing him and then moving down to his neck - he bit a little, but not too hard. His fingers were kind of digging into Sanji's thigh; after a moment he let his hand slide higher up, resting at his waist. This time he was going to wait until Sanji said it was okay, just to be safe.
Sanji gasped, the feeling of Lucci's teeth on him not as sharp this time and instead making him toss his head back. He waited on edge as Lucci's hand moved higher, almost unconsciously shifting his hips against him...and then kept waiting when Lucci paused. After a moment he looked down, raising an eyebrow. "...Well?"
Lucci raised an eyebrow back in response. "Well, I didn't want you to panic again," he explained, and kissed him again before he could say anything. He moved out of the way a bit and tugged Sanji's - well, technically George's, whatever - panties down, having to sit up at one point to get them all the way off.
...Wow, and now he was naked. And that much closer to– Sanji's heart rate picked up, along with his breathing again. Holy hell, what was wrong with him? He started to close his legs, paused, cursed at himself some more, and finally just took a deep breath, trying to calm down. When he looked back at Lucci there was a determined gleam in his eye. He slid his hands up his thighs, giving Lucci a coy little smirk.
Ooh. That was...interesting. Lucci just looked for a moment, taking in the view and trying to ignore the way Sanji kept stalling because he was getting a bad feeling about it. Finally, he put his hand out to follow the same path as Sanji's, moving up the inside of his thigh until he could finally touch him, fingers sliding through soft, wet heat.
Oh, jesus fuck. Sanji made a strangled sound, his face practically glowing it went so red, and as much as part of him wanted to encourage it, wanted to spread wider, invite Lucci in, actually TRY this... Something inside him snapped, and the other part finally won out. "Wait," he said in a rush, pushing himself halfway up on his elbows. "Fucking shit - wait, wait, wait. Stop."
...Lucci stopped. He sighed, pulled away, sat up, put some distance between them, and gave Sanji an extremely critical look. "All right. Is this because you're a woman, or because you feel guilty? Is this going to work, or should I just give up?"
Sanji slowly sat the rest of the way up, pulling his legs in until he was sitting cross-legged. Almost as an afterthought, he grabbed a pillow and threw it across his lap, slumping over it. "...All of the above?" he finally said, looking at anything that wasn't Lucci. He dragged a hand through his hair, looking miserable, and exhaled noisily. "I -- sorry. But I think... I can't."
Lucci didn't know how to respond to that without swearing. He wanted to be angry at Sanji - well, he was, but...he also felt like this was his fault, because even if Sanji had brought it up, they'd both known it wasn't going to work, and...maybe...maybe Lucci had only done it because he was bitter. Because he didn't want everyone else to have something he couldn't. Maybe he'd only tried to sleep with Sanji so he couldn't have Zoro. ...That didn't even rate on the scale of new lows for him, but it was still pretty rotten. He turned to sit on the edge of the bed and put his face in his hand. "...Fine."
It wasn't until Lucci turned around that Sanji finally glanced over at him. He watched him carefully, wanting to...something. Put a hand on his shoulder, apologize some more, he didn't know. Instead he sighed, flopping back onto the bed and reaching for another pillow to throw over his face. "I promised him," he said, voice muffled. "Zoro. I told him I wouldn't, I said he didn't have a goddamn thing to worry about, and I still... Shit. I fucking suck." He lifted the pillow a bit, looking over to Lucci again. "And that was George's underwear and – I don't know. But it's weird."
At that, Lucci went stiff. It was probably irrational, definitely irrational, but he was suddenly furious that Sanji would even bring that up. Did he think that it would make Lucci feel better? Did he think that Lucci hadn't spent the last several minutes steadfastly ignoring that fact because it was Sanji and not George, George had nothing to do with this - he had to remind himself that punching Sanji would be completely out of line. "...Why would you say that?" he asked. He was pretty sure the look on his face was halfway between hurt and disgusted, and he couldn't bring himself to care about concealing it.
"...I don't know." Sanji watched the line of Lucci's back go still, watched his muscles clench... He wondered if he should be worried. "I know she has nothing to do with this...us, you and me, but... I feel like there are lines that shouldn't be crossed, and this was one of them. You may not care who sleeps with who, but she's in the middle of trying to figure out who the hell she wants and you're supposed to be in love with her and I'm supposed to be her friend, but here we are, practically fucking, and I'm wearing her clothes -- it's just. MESSED UP." Sanji sat up abruptly, burying his face in his hands. "I feel like a total asshole, and then there's Zoro, and...what the hell."
"Sanji--" Lucci stopped, forcing the volume of his voice down. "...I'm selfish. I know I am. I should not have asked you to do this. I just needed--" He looked away. "I just wanted to... God, this wasn't supposed to be about any of them. This is pathetic. You know what? You're right. Half the reason I fucked you in the first place was that I was sick of picking up little blonde women in bars, and now look where I am. Ha." It was utterly humorless and overwhelmingly bitter. "...I shouldn't even be saying this to you."
Sanji fell silent for a moment. Then: "You weren't the one that asked, dumbass. I suggested it." He sighed and straightened up, keeping one arm across his chest. Like it even mattered at this point. "...Would you hand me my skirt? And shirt. Actually - the vest, give me that. I need a cigarette."
Lucci sat still for a moment. More than anything, he wanted to just storm out of the room, but he would have to get dressed first, and all said it was easier to just pick up the clothes and hand them to Sanji, so he did. Then he reached down to pick up his pants and pulled them on. "Can we forget I said that?" he muttered.
Sanji shrugged, ignoring getting dressed in favor of lighting up as quickly as he could. He inhaled the nicotine gratefully, and kept his eyes on his cigarette when he spoke again. "Guess I'm just not...good at doing the emotionally detached thing. Shoulda known. Even if it's not about anyone else, they can still get hurt by it."
Lucci leaned against the wall, crossed his arms, and shook his head. "It's all just..." He didn't know what to say. "I'm sick of being careful of other people's feelings. I was happier when I didn't care. ...Well, that's not true, but...at least I wasn't this miserable half the time." He sighed. "...I wish I smoked."
"You can bum one, if you want." Sanji pushed the pack towards the edge of the bed in case he said yes, then finally went about pulling his clothes on. Or...the tights and bra, anyway. He ignored George's panties, and the rest seemed too complicated right now. "It's a bitch, I guess. Caring about people. But...it's usually worth it, in the end. Did you get this room for the night?"
Lucci shook his head. "I just mean that your vice doesn't hurt anyone but yourself." He sighed. "I didn't know how long we'd be here, so yes, I did. If you want to stay, you can. I think I'll...I don't know. Either get drunk or go hunting, possibly both in either order."
Sanji looked up, giving him a sharp look. "Hunting?"
"Deer," Lucci said, glaring a little. "We've been through this."
"...Ah." Sanji cleared his throat, shifting his gaze off to the side. "Right. Sorry."
With a sigh, Lucci pushed off from the wall and went to get his shirt. "It's not the same. There's still blood, but they don't...they just take it. Prey animals know they're going to die the moment they're born; they can see their place better than anyone can. They accept their own mortality. Humans fight. Even when they don't stand a chance, you can see how afraid they are, how impassioned...when a deer knows it's done for, it's resigned. Looking in its eyes, it's almost saying 'let's get this over with'."
Sanji took another drag of his smoke, frowning around it. "...So what's even the point?"
Lucci shrugged, tugging on his shirt. "Blood. The power rush. Satisfaction of predatory instinct. Practice; working out my senses by hunting keeps me sharp." He focused on his buttons. "...It's just different, though. It feels good, but it's a different kind of good. And nowhere near as good."
There wasn't much he could say to that. Sanji wasn't sure he'd ever really get Lucci's...addiction, but at least he wasn't going after humans. He sighed, stubbing out his cigarette in an ashtray on the bedside table, and then pulled at the bed covers so he could slide beneath the sheets. "Whatever, just - be careful. Or something. I mean, if you're gonna get drunk first. Think I'm gonna stay here for a bit, but...I'll be back in time to make breakfast."
"I don't think I'm going to get drunk first; that would sort of negate the point." Lucci finished getting dressed and stood there for a moment, adjusting his clothes to make it look like they hadn't all been thrown on the floor. "It's nice to know that there's always going to be a part of me that scares people," he said conversationally. "Part of me that no one understands or wants to understand. That way, when she leaves me - whether in a few years at best or if she's never with me at all - I can just remember that I've always been a monster deep down, and look back on the time when I had something I didn't deserve, and at least it will seem fair that it's gone. You know?" He opened the door. "I'll see you in the morning." And closed it behind him.
Sanji sat up in a rush, half throwing off the covers he'd just been burying himself under. "Lucci—" But the door was already shut, the best sign there could be that the conversation was over. That the night was over, that this whole stupid mess had come to a final, awkward end. Sanji groaned, sort of tempted to go after him, but ultimately decided that would probably be a bad idea. Instead he collapsed back onto the pillows again and dragged the covers over his head. He would deal with all this shit tomorrow.
END
no subject
Yeah, we figured that even though he was wearing his ~new clothes~ he still needed to have SOMETHING of George's on, ahaha. XD